Romany ([info]romanyg) wrote,
@ 2006-10-22 13:05:00
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Entry tags:fic, humor fic, silly stuff, sv/dcu fic

Silly!fic: DUDE! A Clexian tale
This is a story of subtext in tragic proportions, in fair Smallville, where we set our scene...

Dialogue provided courtesy of Messrs. Bill and Ted as well as Messrs. Beavis and Butthead.

May bear little relevance to canon.


Lex: *drives really fast*
Clark: Ow! *flails into river*
Lex: *drowns*
Clark: *saves*
Lex: Dude! *suspects*
Clark: Dude! *hides nifty superpowers*

Lex: Truck! *gives*
Clark: Truck! *returns*
Lex: Dude?
Clark: I'm not in it for the bling.
Lex: *hearts*

Lex: Dude, we're like so BFF!
Clark: Dude, no shit?
Lex: No shit. Let's totally hang!
Clark: Er...cool!
Lex: X-box? I'll kick your ass!
Clark: Dude, your ass is so kicked.
Lex: *hearts*

Clark: *world-saveage*
Lex: Saw that!
Clark: Did not!
Lex: Did too!
Clark: Dude, you are so high!
Lex: Maybe? *confused*

Lex: Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Kent? Clark and I are going to hang out in the barn for a few hours for no particular reason, okay?
Martha: Hi, Lex.
Jonathan: *growls* Get off of my farm! And stop checking out my son's ass!
Martha: Jonathan!
Lex: Hey, Mrs. Kent, it's cool. *checks out Clark's ass*
Jonathan: Aaaarrrrghhhhh!

Lex: Dude, you should have this babealicious life.
Clark: Huh?
Lex: Serious. But you're so lame.
Clark: I'm *totally* lame.
Lex: That's what makes you kind of excellent too.

Lex: My dad sucks!
Clark: Your dad totally sucks!
Lex: *bonds*
Clark: *bonds*

Lex: *crazy*
Clark: *protects*
Lana: Ow!
Clark: *guilt*

Clark: Uh, dude, this is like crazy stalker shit here.
Lex: This room is all about me, not you.
Clark: Dude, whatever, I'm out of here.
Lex: X-box?
Clark: I've got stuff to do. *crawls into hole in wall*
Lex: Dude, where'd you go?

Lex: Hey!
Clark: Still pissed. Bye.
Lex: Look, football uniforms!
Clark: Dude, don't even.
Lex: Play me.
Clark: Huh? Told you, don't roll that way.
Lex: Try it. Play me.
Clark: *sighs, asks favor*
Lex: *does*
Clark: Serious? You'll let me play you?
Lex: Like a piano. X-box?
Clark: Later.
Lex: *is sad*

Clark: Dude, you're like the total manslut!
Lex: Don't I get points?
Clark: No! No points for you!
Lex: What do you care?
Clark: I...don't?
Lex: You do!
Clark: You gotta change. I'm just saying.
Lex: I suck.
Clark: You really do.

Clark: You lie like a rug, a dog, whatever!
Lex: Takes one to know one.
Clark: Um, so different.
Lex: Yeah, right.
Clark: Dude, to my face?
Lex: To your face.

Clark: You suck!
Lex: Dude?
Clark: *punches*
Lex: *punches back*
Clark: *bleeds* Whee!
Lex: Dude, why didn't you just say? Can I tie you up?
Clark: No! *runs away*

Clark: *gets up in Lex's grill*
Lex: *gets up in Clark's grill*
Clark: You suck!
Lex: You suck!
Clark: You really suck!
Lex: *inches closer* Yeah, you...
Clark: *inches closer* Suck, yeah...
Lex: *closer still* You...
Clark: *practically there* You...
Lana: Hey, guys!
Clark and Lex: Hey, La-na...

Lex: Your girlfriend's got a nice rack.
Clark: WTF?
Lex: Dude, I need to get laid. I'm just saying.
Clark: No, seriously, WTF?
Lex: I'd be up for a threeway. Think about it.
Clark: Um, processing...should I be kicking your ass?
Lex: Gotta go. She's here.
Lana: *drives up*
Clark: Dude, what *are* you saying?
Lex: Look, she's not your girlfriend anymore, she's mine. You've always had a nice ass so I'm willing to cut you in. Spell it out for you?
Clark: *blinks* You've checked out my ass?
Lex: Since day one.
Clark: Dude!
Lex: Threeway. Call me. Later! *drives off*
Clark: Dude! *considers, saves the world instead*


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[info]brandil
2006-10-22 08:35 pm UTC (link)
Dude. I <3 you.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-22 11:29 pm UTC (link)
And, dude, I heart you as well!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]a2zmom
2006-10-22 09:08 pm UTC (link)
Bwah! Yeah, that's the show I was watching.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-22 11:33 pm UTC (link)
Hee! That subtext just broke the surface more than once, didn't it? So obvious.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]kantayra
2006-10-22 09:17 pm UTC (link)
Heeeeeeeeeee! Yeah, that pretty much covers it. :P

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-22 11:35 pm UTC (link)
Thank you. *g* I cannot shake the image of Lex chasing boy!Clark around with an X-box controller.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]myownghost
2006-10-22 09:34 pm UTC (link)
>Clark: I'm not in it for the bling.
Lex: *hearts*

*sighing like a girl*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-22 11:35 pm UTC (link)
*sighs with you*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]mskatej
2006-10-22 09:40 pm UTC (link)
DUDE. My love for you knows NO BOUNDS. That is just so very perfect. *dies of laughter*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-22 11:36 pm UTC (link)
*thanks you then revives you*

Yay, squishy love! *clings*

Dude!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]netweight
2006-10-22 10:27 pm UTC (link)
OMG!! WIN!!!!!

I think you should do this for the other pairings toooooo!!! And I see you found a way to make season 4 make sense *snicker*.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-22 11:38 pm UTC (link)
Whee! *does winning dance*

Other pairings? Then the silliness would eat me! OH NOES!

Season 4 must make sense. It must! *wrestles S4 to the ground*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]wickedprincess3
2006-10-23 12:01 am UTC (link)
Lex: I suck.
Clark: You really do.


That almost makes up for that episode. Almost.

Seriously, this made me ROFL

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-23 12:25 am UTC (link)
Hee! Thank you.

I've been thinking a *lot* about "Bound". I wonder if Lex is being completely straight with Clark at the end or just manipulating him? I get the feeling that Clark is calling him on some of his shit because Lex has always been able to get Clark's sympathy vote before, and Clark's starting to wonder if he's being played.

Although I'm still have a big old WTF about casual sex=teh eV0l, Lex definitely has intimacy issues. Maybe it's a giant cry for help, but what does he expect Clark to do about it exactly? Give him a pass? Pick up hot chicks with him? Give him a hug? Screw him instead? I don't think even Lex knows what he wants at this point. He's just playing all his angles.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]wickedprincess3, 2006-10-23 12:37 am UTC (Expand)
another related sort of thought (I've got Lex icons for every occasion!) - [info]wickedprincess3, 2006-10-23 03:33 am UTC (Expand)
Re: another related sort of thought (I've got Lex icons for every occasion!) - [info]romanyg, 2006-10-23 09:56 pm UTC (Expand)
Re: another related sort of thought (I've got Lex icons for every occasion!) - [info]myownghost, 2006-10-24 10:41 am UTC (Expand)
Re: another related sort of thought (I've got Lex icons for every occasion!) - [info]romanyg, 2006-10-24 05:34 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]romanyg, 2006-10-23 03:44 am UTC (Expand)

[info]rumpuso
2006-10-23 02:19 am UTC (link)
This is a hoot! I absolutely love it mostly because underneath the humor of it all, it's TRUE! Great fun! May I rec this?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-23 03:52 am UTC (link)
Thank you! This was fun to do. *g*

And of course, feel free to rec. No need to ask; I'm easy that way. *g*

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rumpuso, 2006-10-23 10:33 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]romanyg, 2006-10-24 02:35 am UTC (Expand)

[info]tasabian
2006-10-23 02:46 am UTC (link)
This is so true and I love it. At any given moment, even as late as S5 - 6, Clark and Lex still seem to be never more than about 5 seconds away from passionate kissing. And Lex would SO love a threesome.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-23 04:00 am UTC (link)
Thank you! I'm used to really delving to get subtext in a show. Not with these two. Fish in a freaking barrel. *g*

Yes, Lex would so go for the threesome. Probably even now.

And how funny, that you should show up here. I've just read everything that you've posted on LJ and debated on how to give you feedback. For multific, I usually do email, but you don't have one listed. So I'll have to go through individually, I think. Not too much of a hardship because you *so* rock!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]tasabian, 2006-10-23 04:14 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]romanyg, 2006-10-24 02:42 am UTC (Expand)

[info]justforspite
2006-10-23 11:47 am UTC (link)
That was hilarious and so true, but I have to say I LOVE the meta found in the comments alone. How much thought this has spawned and it's wonderful! Great job!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-24 02:40 am UTC (link)
Thank you! Yes, this little bit was fun, but I *love* to engage in meta.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Dude....
[info]kdsch123
2006-10-23 08:26 pm UTC (link)
Loved this and I'm not a Clexer! Hee. I recc'd it at TWOP, too.

(Reply to this) (Thread)
Re: Dude....
[info]romanyg
2006-10-24 03:00 am UTC (link)
Thank you! And thank you again!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]carcassi
2006-10-23 09:17 pm UTC (link)
Came here via [info]kdsch123's rec on TwoP, and I'm still grinning! This is so totally the way it happened, too. :D

I second the comment above--I'd love to see you do this for another pairing. (Clana? Or if that's too painful, Chlark? *Hopes*)

Thanks for sharing!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-24 03:04 am UTC (link)
Thank you! She was really sweet to do that.

Sofia, my beta, is the one who made the other pairing comment. So if anyone can beat those out of me, she can. *g*

I may write mostly Clex, but I love reading the other pairings too. In fact, I was so impressed with your "Infinity Shot"--which I saved to memories--that I recced it to some of my chat friends.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]carcassi, 2006-10-26 02:10 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]romanyg, 2006-10-27 10:57 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]carolandtom
2006-10-23 10:46 pm UTC (link)
I found this thanks to Rumpuso's rec at K-site. I'm glad I read it! It's so funny and so cleverly done! Great job!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-24 03:09 am UTC (link)
Thank you! She was so sweet to rec this over there. And I'm glad you enjoyed!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]serenography
2006-10-24 03:41 am UTC (link)
I'm not even sure how to thank you for the thoughtful present. It almost made me cry.. 'cause you know, sometimes birthdays can be that way.

And now I finally get to read THIS^.. I know I said I was kidding before when I professed love for you... but I'm starting to wonder.
(omg.. and you even had shades of Clexana!) *loves*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-24 06:54 am UTC (link)
You're quite welcome! I hope you had a fantastic birthday.

And thank you! Yes, I did sneak some Clexana in there, cause I'm all sneaky like that. *g*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]suzycat
2006-10-24 09:57 am UTC (link)
I totally needed that.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-24 05:25 pm UTC (link)
Hee! I'm glad that I could provide.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]bop_radar
2006-10-24 10:52 am UTC (link)
*rotfl*
Oh, how true. What's frightening for me is that despite all my meta-ing, the show is not THAT much more complex than this! ;-)

Clark: Dude, you are so high!
Lex: Maybe? *confused*
I started laughing here.

Clark: Dude, you're like the total manslut!
Lex: Don't I get points?
Clark: No! No points for you!
Lex: What do you care?
Clark: I...don't?
Lex: You do!
Ah, Bound! Bless it's unliked little socks.

Clark: Dude! *considers, saves the world instead*
And that is why he SUCKS! ;-p

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-24 05:52 pm UTC (link)
*clings to Clark* My hero!

Isn't it funny, though, what the show looks like when it's basically splayed out. *g*

I got into a big ol' meta discussion above regarding Bound. I know fandom wants to bitchslap Clark all around the barn for that scene, but my reaction to it was a similiar "Yay, Clark!" that I had when he told Lana and Chloe to stop treating him like the jealous boyfriend in "Dichotic". Because, really, Lex is making some major demands on their friendship.

I'm still blinking behind the whole after-school-message of "Hey, kids, don't try this at home!" regarding casual sex. OMG! so evil! Um, huh? But it is an example of how their two moralities just. don't. mesh.

And Lex is being all clingy "Save me, Clark! Be the Beatrice to my Dante and lead me out of the Inferno!" But does he really mean it here? No. He just wants a pass, and some major sympathy--maybe a cuddle?--and then has no intention of actually *changing* his behavior. Kinda like an alcholic saying, "OMG! I'm a suckass alcoholic! I don't deserve anything! Don't leave me! What kind of person would kick me while I'm down?" all while pouring his next drink.

And Lex cannot be saved my some majorly good threesome sex. As much as I would like to see it. *g* The world needs Clark to save it. He's a good guy that way. But man, it would be nice if Clark could get laid too. *g*

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]romanyg, 2006-10-24 06:48 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]bop_radar, 2006-10-25 12:37 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]romanyg, 2006-10-25 10:52 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]bop_radar, 2006-10-25 11:37 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]romanyg, 2006-10-27 10:36 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]e_anthony
2006-10-24 01:20 pm UTC (link)
You're made of awesome, and so is this fic.

*Hearts*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-24 06:10 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! *blushes*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]offtheceiling
2006-10-24 02:25 pm UTC (link)
Heee, that's awesome! And so, so true. *pets the boys*

And...um..hi! I'm friending you! I adore your fic and am on a Epic Quest to get more SV friends.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-24 06:27 pm UTC (link)
Huh. I think about people and they just *appear*. I have magic powers! *g*

I adore your fic as well. I just majorly suck and haven't actually gotten around to telling you yet. Your AU is kicking my ass in such a good way. I think it started off as a fun thing for you, yes? And then it just took on a life of its own. Really, compelling and lyrical. I should, I don't know, actually *tell* you sometime. *g*

Oh, and thank you! *pets the boys as well*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]duskwillow
2006-10-24 04:37 pm UTC (link)
Bwa ha ha!!
Priceless!!
Too funny and so true.
Kudos!

*loves*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-24 06:45 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! That's what I saw on *my* tv screen. *g*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]mailerose
2006-10-24 07:00 pm UTC (link)
Hee. Very giggle-inducing :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-24 10:08 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! My job here is done. *g*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]withafireinside
2006-10-24 08:18 pm UTC (link)
Clark: *world-saveage*
Lex: Saw that!
Clark: Did not!
Lex: Did too!
Clark: Dude, you are so high!
Lex: Maybe? *confused*

Aw, poor Lex. That's Smallville in a nutshell. Hee!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-24 10:09 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! Yes, poor Lex, he just wants to *know*! And then he gets tied up or hit on the head or something.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]teot
2006-10-24 09:53 pm UTC (link)
*giggles*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-24 10:10 pm UTC (link)
Thank you!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]azrielle_jones
2006-10-25 12:49 am UTC (link)
This is most awesome, dude.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-25 11:27 pm UTC (link)
Dude, I *totally* thank you!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]wendy
2006-10-25 01:50 am UTC (link)
Brilliance.

I can't stop laughing.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-25 11:32 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! A little bit of joy is never a bad thing. *g*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]khohen1
2006-10-25 05:12 am UTC (link)
Dude. Oh my god. Somebody with the ability to make animated icons needs to scene these!!! Oooooh. I should find out how to do that animation thing. This is priceless.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]romanyg
2006-10-25 11:52 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! I'm graphically impaired so...it will not be me. *g* I envy the graphics people. But I'm glad that you thought enough of this to suggest it. Thanks again!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]khohen1, 2006-10-26 01:52 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]khohen1, 2006-10-26 07:20 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]romanyg, 2006-10-26 07:10 pm UTC (Expand)

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