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May 22nd, 2005

Don't tell me it's over...

So Sofia threatened me with unlocking the A/S epic if I didn't finish it. Triptych, Familiar, pretty much everything except for Boat and Something Else, are the tidy bits that I've leaked out here. She can do that since it's sitting there in all it's screened first-draft suckage on her LJ.

What else could I do but start it up again? Sent her the first new bits to beta in a long, long while. I seem to respond to threats. *g*

And I'd forgotten how consuming it is, to write like this. How everything else becomes unwelcome distraction. Makes RL that much harder. This time last year, I came *this* close to having a breakdown, a divorce, what have you. And over a freaking *fic*? Where's my perspective?

But the hardest part? It pains me to finish it. Because then it'll be *over*. I'll have to acknowledge that the show is done, that fandom is leaking away. And as long as I have that unfinished monstrosity on my hard drive and at Sofia's journal there will be something left. And I'm so close to done, really.

I just don't want it to be *over*.