Romany (romanyg) wrote,

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Buckeroo Banzai Ice Princess: I think she fights crime in her spare time too!

Well, I finally got to see Ice Princess with Michelle Trachtenberg the other night on cable. The alternate title should be Buckeroo Banzai on Ice. *g*

S'okay...we have this 17-year old physics nerd who loves figure skating and decides to make her summer, "oh lookie-me now, Harvard!" project about said skating. She creates a formula for the perfect triple jump--never mind that the bio-physics change for each different jump--and manages to land one after taking one summer intensive course. We must remember that she only pond-skated before this--on garage-sale boots and blades. She then decides to skate the summer-school recital and, get this, just *happens* to get "placed" in the junior level for the frickin' USFSA. Because this recital has judges, oh yes, judges! *hahahahahaha wheeze hahahahahahaha* And the recital somehow takes the place of the standard test system. *movie magic glee!*

So somehow she went from pond-skating to skipping *counts fingers* SEVEN level tests to compete as a junior for the New England Regionals. Really. No, really! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

And not only does she compete at Regionals, she just kinda shows up at the last minute to do it. And, as far as I can figure, never *registering* with the USFSA in the first place. She has trained with her MAGIC MONEY that she made working her PART-TIME JOB at the CONCESSION STAND and she's going to do this for real! *kicks legs in chortling gleeeeeeeee!*

So she places FIFTH in the SECOND most talent-heavy region in the U.S. And there's much woe and betrayal because her sortakindamaybenotreally!coach tricked her and bought her new boots between programs, because, yes, the competitors skated their short and their long programs on the SAME DAY! *laughs so hard I roll off chair* And she calls her mom, who in no way supports her skating, to come get her from the MEAN and EVIL rink and rescue her from the sortakindanotreally!coach. And there are GLARES of GUILT and DEATH between them. How could you do this to my daughter, you cheater! Because, yes, there's a mysterious past at Sarajevo! *waves evil hand of Sith!*

BUT!!!!!!she gets to compete at Eastern Sectionals after all, because usedtobeperfectcouldn'tyoujusthateher!skater rival who happens to be the coach's daughter, that is coached by EVIL!coach, drops out in a gesture of friendship and SOB! she just wants her life back, can't they just be best friends now? So Miss ihavefiguredoutthejedisecretsoffigureskating! skates her SHORT and her LONG program on the SAME DAY again! And WOE! can her mother get out of teaching class in time to make her final program? So sad and many tears and EVIL!coach is now REDEEMED because she is now Michelle's coach. Yay! So Miss Ice Princess pulls a WHOA! triple lutz out of her butt and places SECOND! WHEEEEEEE!

And it's all very dramatic because ESPN is there with TV CAMERAS for the JUNIOR portion of the event. This is Sectionals, people. And the competition takes place in a huge arena with SPOTLIGHTS on the skaters. SPOTLIGHTS! And it's wonderful because the lights highlight the VOCALS of Miss Ice Princess's short program. Wonderful COMMENTARY is supplied by none other than Michelle Kwan and Brian Boitano. May they never quit their day jobs to actually do this or act or something!

And there is much applause and crying and she's going off to Nationals, yay! THE END

Well, there was other stuff, but um, yeah, that's what caught my eye. *g*

Other than that, I thought it was a cute movie and MT was adorable in it.
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