Dialogue provided courtesy of Messrs. Bill and Ted as well as Messrs. Beavis and Butthead.
May bear little relevance to canon.
Lex: *drives really fast*
Clark: Ow! *flails into river*
Lex: Dude! *suspects*
Clark: Dude! *hides nifty superpowers*
Lex: Truck! *gives*
Clark: Truck! *returns*
Clark: I'm not in it for the bling.
Lex: Dude, we're like so BFF!
Clark: Dude, no shit?
Lex: No shit. Let's totally hang!
Lex: X-box? I'll kick your ass!
Clark: Dude, your ass is so kicked.
Lex: Saw that!
Clark: Did not!
Lex: Did too!
Clark: Dude, you are so high!
Lex: Maybe? *confused*
Lex: Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Kent? Clark and I are going to hang out in the barn for a few hours for no particular reason, okay?
Martha: Hi, Lex.
Jonathan: *growls* Get off of my farm! And stop checking out my son's ass!
Lex: Hey, Mrs. Kent, it's cool. *checks out Clark's ass*
Lex: Dude, you should have this babealicious life.
Lex: Serious. But you're so lame.
Clark: I'm *totally* lame.
Lex: That's what makes you kind of excellent too.
Lex: My dad sucks!
Clark: Your dad totally sucks!
Clark: Uh, dude, this is like crazy stalker shit here.
Lex: This room is all about me, not you.
Clark: Dude, whatever, I'm out of here.
Clark: I've got stuff to do. *crawls into hole in wall*
Lex: Dude, where'd you go?
Clark: Still pissed. Bye.
Lex: Look, football uniforms!
Clark: Dude, don't even.
Lex: Play me.
Clark: Huh? Told you, don't roll that way.
Lex: Try it. Play me.
Clark: *sighs, asks favor*
Clark: Serious? You'll let me play you?
Lex: Like a piano. X-box?
Lex: *is sad*
Clark: Dude, you're like the total manslut!
Lex: Don't I get points?
Clark: No! No points for you!
Lex: What do you care?
Lex: You do!
Clark: You gotta change. I'm just saying.
Lex: I suck.
Clark: You really do.
Clark: You lie like a rug, a dog, whatever!
Lex: Takes one to know one.
Clark: Um, so different.
Lex: Yeah, right.
Clark: Dude, to my face?
Lex: To your face.
Clark: You suck!
Lex: *punches back*
Clark: *bleeds* Whee!
Lex: Dude, why didn't you just say? Can I tie you up?
Clark: No! *runs away*
Clark: *gets up in Lex's grill*
Lex: *gets up in Clark's grill*
Clark: You suck!
Lex: You suck!
Clark: You really suck!
Lex: *inches closer* Yeah, you...
Clark: *inches closer* Suck, yeah...
Lex: *closer still* You...
Clark: *practically there* You...
Lana: Hey, guys!
Clark and Lex: Hey, La-na...
Lex: Your girlfriend's got a nice rack.
Lex: Dude, I need to get laid. I'm just saying.
Clark: No, seriously, WTF?
Lex: I'd be up for a threeway. Think about it.
Clark: Um, processing...should I be kicking your ass?
Lex: Gotta go. She's here.
Lana: *drives up*
Clark: Dude, what *are* you saying?
Lex: Look, she's not your girlfriend anymore, she's mine. You've always had a nice ass so I'm willing to cut you in. Spell it out for you?
Clark: *blinks* You've checked out my ass?
Lex: Since day one.
Lex: Threeway. Call me. Later! *drives off*
Clark: Dude! *considers, saves the world instead*